The epicness that is my failure for the past two weeks cannot be stated in words, but I’m going to try anyway. It all started a couple of weekends ago when I went on a family vacation. I decided that since I was on a family vacation I did not have to follow my plan of exercising or of eating healthier. (Granted I have not implemented a much healthier diet yet; it’s more of a stay away for a lot of junkie foods plan at the moment.) This was stupid of me. Not only would it have been easy for me to exercise because my sisters kept inviting me to do so, but it was easier to eat healthier because we had brought all our own food and my mom did not pack a bunch of junk food. Instead, I slept in (which was wonderful) and ate less than normal. On the one hand I did lose a few pounds because I ate less, but I had broken the habit I was trying to form.
It was not so much of a slippery slope for me, as it was stepping off a cliff. When I came home, and some family came to stay for a week, I used every excuse I could think of to keep myself from exercising. I exercised maybe once or twice the first week I came back, but since then I have not exercised. I thought no big deal I’ll be fine I can start up again any time. Well, that thought was smashed when I stepped on the scale this morning.
I had been avoiding it since the one time I weighed myself since getting home. This morning I stared down at the scale, willing my foot to step onto it. I could feel the cool tile beneath my feet and I knew in my head that I needed to see where I was at, but my heart was screaming “STAY AWAY FROM THE EVIL STEPPING STOOL.” (Apparently my heart thinks I should only use the scale as a tiny stepping stool to help me reach the new boxes of tooth paste on one of the higher shelves.) I slowly stepped from the smooth surface of the floor onto the rougher surface of the scale. When I looked down my body seemed to gain 50 pounds, and I felt heavier than ever. I had gained back all the weight I had lost since I started this endeavor. Sure it was only five pounds, but to me it was a slap in the face and a catalyst for a new resolve.
I will not let this slow me down. I will begin my plans again. I will lose weight. I will begin exercising again. I will not snack right before bed. I will not spend a lot of money on junk food. I will become a healthy person. And I will not allow a vacation to derail me so much again.