I Hate Everything

I like to joke that I’m an optimist, masking as a realist, masking as a pessimist, but honestly, I am just a plain old optimistic person. I genuinely believe that no matter the situation it will work out exactly how it should. However, being an optimist does not mean I am always happy. I can, at times, hate the way situations play out.

As an optimist, many people expect me to be happy almost all of the time. Most of my life, especially during high school, friends joked when I got mad it was the end of the world. I laughed with them, but it frustrated me. I felt like I couldn’t feel everyday annoyances because if I did the people around me would shatter. It was a lot of pressure.

I know I created that pressure. That much influence over the people around me is something I lack. However, during that time it felt like I did have that much influence. I learned to identify as an optimist led many people to believe I was happy all the time and that the simple things would not frustrate me.

This is so false. I get frustrated all the time, at work, at driving, and at home. I even get frustrated at TV shows. Despite being a generally happy person, I have a range of emotions that fluctuate. Sometimes they change so quickly I leave people baffled. Still, I am an optimist.

I have learned in my life that if I wait long enough something good will happen. So I invite everyone reading this to try something. Regardless of how you look at the world, spend a day trying to be an optimist. Don’t pretend to be happy or try to force something good to happen. To me, that is not an what an optimist does. Instead, when something bad happens, take it in, feel the frustration. Then remember this will lead you to a better place and move forward.